Attention

All press is good press.

The key to success is to get people talking about you...and talking, and talking, and talking.

It's easy to do in a country that prioritizes convenience over self-preservation and has a seriously entitled misunderstanding of the phrase "survival of the fittest." 

Complacently fat on junk food and reality TV - talking and talking.

It doesn't matter what's being said, just that the name is incessantly repeated.

Every conversation turned that way.

Every news story's inflammatory headline.

Every morning I think, Now what?

Talking and talking and even making signs.

They're right, of course. You should be concerned.

But more than that, unplug the television and put down the device. Go outside and have a genuine conversation with someone that does not involve the obligatory topic. You might be surprised by all the things you actually have in common.

The biggest threat is people who refuse to be played against one another.

If you wonder what the attention whore will do next, the answer is: whatever it takes to keep all eyes on them.

Games

 

Retreat

All relationships have rules but...

When the rules create an unwinnable game, it's time to walk away.

Effort

The problem with trying harder

 

I was a music major in college. After two years of maximum effort and dismal results, I burned out and quit.

I walked away to save my sanity but it stung. What I perceived as my life's trajectory evaporated in an instant because I couldn't hack it. It was a relief to let it go, but I was sad. I felt like a failure.

A couple years later I went back to school for photography. Photography is not easier than music, but the same effort produced notable better results. In fact, twenty-seven years later, I'm still a professional photographer. I built a career and made a life for myself.

It's not always about trying harder. It's about finding the right thing.

A Beautiful Home in the Hills

Gene Hackman's wife died of hantavirus.

She lay on the bathroom floor. The dog was in its crate.

A few days later, Gene succumbed to the ghost in the mirror. He was stepping over and around his dead wife until his clock ran out. The dog was still in its crate.

A few days after that the dog died and no one knew.

A family mummified in their home while the sun rose and sank and the mail got delivered.

Money didn't save them.

If there's something you want to do, go do it now.

You could die tomorrow, and the neighbors across the street wouldn't know the difference.

Currency

Words have power

Information is currency.

It's easy to assume that the one talking is in control, but divulgence cripples leverage. 

Words have value as does silence.

The one listening quietly and formulating a plan knows that whoever controls the information controls the situation.

I rarely say more than I have to. It's not about being deceptive, it's about staying on point. If it's not relevant, why bring it up?

Consider the Source

Is the complainer in your life a messenger, the proverbial canary in the coal mine, or are they the problem?

Before reacting to the alarmist, consider their role in the situation.

Overcompensation

 Overcompensation is the tell of insecurity

It's not hard to see but pay attention because it's the roadmap of negotiation and the crystal ball of prediction. 

People can be counted on to act in accordance with their true nature. Because the way they do one thing is the way they do everything. Turn on the stress and you'll see.

Avoidance of pain is the guiding light.

• Believes themselves to be unattractive.
• Believes themselves to lack intrinsic value.
• Believes themselves to be inadequate.
• Fear of rejection.
• Fear of abandonment.

Over-the-top behaviors are fueled by under-the-surface beliefs.

When you wonder what someone will do next, look for the overcompensations and reverse engineer. It's not magic, it's just observation.

Rule #1

 Know with whom you fucketh.

There is one rule that I always follow: Know with whom you fucketh.

My superpower is knowing other people better than they know me.

I don't do it on purpose, it just happens and whether it's a blessing or a lonely curse is up for debate.

It is definitely an advantage though. I'm rarely surprised.

If you get close to me, I will know you better than you think.

But anyone can do it.

Before moving forward, take the time, do the research, see the lay of the land.

Less time self-obsessing. More time looking around.

Ownership

 

Is this my problem?

Before expending time and resources on a solution, ask yourself; "is this my problem?"

Ever been the hardest working person at your company, solving all the problems, only to get fired?

Did all the things and still walked away empty-handed?

Are you solving other people's problems at the expense of your own?

Situations will take as much as you give. Not everything is your problem.

Don't take ownership in things that don't belong to you.

The Frog

 

Parable about a frog

If you put a frog in a pan of boiling water, it will immediately jump back out.

If you put a frog in a pan of cool water and turn the heat on, it will sit there until it cooks.

How hot is your water right now?

Respond Wisely

 

Quell the Tide

If it doesn't need saying; stop.

If it mustn't be revealed; don't.

If it plays you at a disadvantage; resist.

If it throws you off balance; wait.

If it's not immediately relevant; go around.

If you're sinking faster by trying harder; be still.

Rally your strength. 

Live to fight another day.